Guys? Get ready to laugh. Get ready. To laugh.
Okay, so Catherine Hardwick the director of the first installment of the new, highly-overrated Twilight franchise was recently not asked to come back for the three sequels. Well, it was announced yesterday that Chris Weitz, the man behind classics such as American Pie and The Golden Compass has been offered to direct the next two Twilight films.
I'll repeat that:
The guy...that made...American Pie...is going to direct...the ultimate chick flick.
HOW BRILLIANTLY HILARIOUS IS THAT?!
Man, I thought that Catherine Hardwick was crap, but CHRIS WEITZ? REALLY? Oh man, maybe those producers should've went easier on you Twilight-ers and just given you Brett Ratner. Honestly, this is just going to crush your lovely franchise. (Much to my enjoyment.)
So, with Weitz at the wheel, what's gonna be next in store for the characters, hmm? Is precious Edward going to have sex with an apple pie, maybe? Or Bella stick a flute up her hoo-hoo? Or is Jacob Black gonna drink pale ale with a little something-something mixed in?
Y'know, this--this-- is the best Christmas gift a girl like me could ever get. Thank you Baby Jesus. And thank you retarded Hollywood producers for making this the best Christmas ever.
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