New "Watchmen" Trailer

There's a new Watchmen trailer released online. It's more like a regular trailer. It gives the non-fans the whole gist of what the movie is about. There's also a whole lot more never-before-seen footage, and dialogue. Also, you get to see the big, blue naked Dr. Manhatten. Cool! So...here's the link:

http://www.worstpreviews.com/trailer.php?id=590&item=12

And enjoy!

Why I'm The Worst College Student Ever

So, I have recently discovered that I'm officially the worst college student ever. I even have the affirmation of my own mother to verify this. Here's how I came to find out this troubling news:

Last Thursday night, a bunch of girls that I'm friends with were going out to this place called The Buzz in Hammond. The whole day, I planned on going. They we're leaving around eight and were going to be spending the night at one of the girl's house in McComb. I didn't have any tests the next day, nor did I have an early class so this plan was perfect for me. That was until, I found out that the new episode of "The Office" was coming on that night at eight. Now, I haven't been able to watch the new season because I've been so busy with soccer and school so needless to say, I was pretty psyched that I would finally be able to watch it. But oops...I had other obligations.

So, I had to make a choice. Go out for a "college night life" i.e. dancing, partying, meeting guys, laughing, and having lots of 18+ fun?

Or stay in the dorm room, make some Ramen noodles, put on my favorite hoodie, eat some cheesecake and watch the newest episode of "The Office?"

I chose the latter.

I can't say that I regret my decision. The episode was (as usual) hilarious, and got to witness the return of Pam from New York. (Yay, Jim and Pam!) But I still felt like the world's biggest dork for not going out and partying with the girls. My feelings were later confirmed when I told my mom about and she looked at me and said, "Wow....you are the worst college student I've ever known."

My own, biological mother. So mean.

I might just do the same thing this Thursday night. After all, I have a Biology test on Friday. And it's a new episode. Again.

Quantum of Solace: A Review

All I can say is that the new Bond films are pure genius. Daniel Craig is the perfect James Bond, Paul Haggis is a brilliant writer, and Marc Forster (surprisingly) is a fantastic director. Although I will admit sometimes it's far-reaching, it is still a good film.

Bond is back, and with a smoldering vengeance. Quantum is the first direct sequel to a preceding Bond film, and it picks up just an hour after Casino Royale ended. Quantum has everything a good Bond film needs: hot cars, Bond babes, chase scenes, and awesome villains. Plus, it has a little something extra: substance. With Daniel Craig we get to see a side of Bond that we've never seen before. We see the flawed, dark assassin that 007 was trained to be. He's a little bit heartless, he has a few issues, but he doesn't let that get in the way of his work.

Throughout Quantum, Bond is seeking revenge on whoever was responsible for his love Vesper Lynd's death. Eventually, it leads him to a multi-billion organization known only as Quantum. Quantum is led by the villain Dominic Greene, who's basically a warlord of sorts. His plan is simple: starts wars and sit back to reap the benefits. And does this under the guise of a humanitarian corporation.

Mathieu Amalric is absolutely thrilling as Greene. He isn't your conventional Bond villain. He's not bald, he doesn't have a eye that cries blood, and he doesn't plate people in gold. But he is wholly frightening. His performance is that of a man who has power through business, and who poses as the ally when really he is the completely psychotic enemy. His diminutive, wormy character contrasts well against Craig's buff bad-ass Bond. He is joined by a Bolivian general named Medrano who aids him in his ghastly plan, as well as a pretty unique sidekick named Elvis. Yes, you heard right...Elvis.

The Bond girls in Quantum are as different as they come. The first is MI6 agent Strawberry Fields, a no-nonsense redhead sent to retrieve Bond from Haiti. She is a good refreshing take on the Bond girls of this generation: young, fashionable, and funny. Fields has a few comic moments with 007 that (of course) lead to her seduction. The second Bond girl is Camille, a woman that is joined by Bond in his quest to defeat Dominic Greene. She is using Greene to get to General Medrano who killed her family. Typical Bond revenge story. Olga Kurylenko who plays Camille does that tough-girl thing well without getting on your nerves.

Then we come to the man himself: Daniel Craig. Who new that the perfect James Bond would come in a blond, blue-eyed, 5'11" indie actor? We sure didn't. But he is fantastic in this film. And it's not just because he looks great in itsy-bitsy swim trunks (although he does get brownie points for that.) Craig trained for months to do all his stunts on both Casino and Quantum. And he suffered for it. Dislocated shoulder, stitches to the face, broken ribs, sliced-off fingers-- it seems as if there's a price to pay for good acting. But not only does he kick ass physically, he does it with his acting as well. As I've said before, he brings actual substance to the Bond character-- we see his dark side, we see his sentimental side, and we see him severely pissed off. So kudos to you Daniel Craig! Congratulations on being able to hold that balance between sexy and smart.

So, onto the stunts. This is one of those high-paced films that doesn't leave you saying "Now what was that all about?" There is an actual need for the car chases, the boat chases, and the foot chases that place themselves oh so wonderfully throughout this 2-hour adrenaline ride. The pacing is quick, but not in a way that makes you feel bloated with action. There's dialogue and then action, dialogue and plot, then dialogue and action again-- this formula is hard to pin down, but when you get it right, it's a slice of cinematic fried gold.

So there you have it! My take on the new Bond film Quantum of Solace. It's in theatres now, so go and see it people! It's a good date movie, or just a good movie to go see in general. What are you waiting for? Scoot!

A Strange Night

You ever have one of those nights where just one weird thing after another just keeps happening? Yeah, that was my night two nights ago...

It was 2 A.M. I was happily frolicking through dreamland and enjoying some quality acid trippy dreams when I was suddenly stirred from my sleep by a noise. It was the most hellacious, loud, and obnoxious grinding noise I had ever heard. It was like a thousand fingernails were being dragged across the chalkboards they use in Hell. In truth, it probably wasn't that bad, but I was just interrupted from my REM cycle and everything sounds worse then. Rolling over onto my back, I thought that maybe I had been dreaming, but then the sound persisted. It finally registered that this this was my window opening, and a natural sense of paranoia washed over me. When I'm half-asleep, I have a problem keeping my thoughts from verbalizing themselves so the first thing I did was say out loud, "Holy sh**, someone's breaking in my room." In actuality, I think it came out more like, "Ho sheez, sum...break'n in...room." Because, again, I'm not the most spry person when I'm just waking up. Suddenly, I heard a girl's voice outside my window and (being the coherent and clever person I am) I yelled, "Who the hell is that?" She giggled and identified herself. It was a friend of mine from down the hall. They had gone out to a club and, coming in past curfew, wanted a window to sneak in. They had mistaken my window for my next-door-neighbors, Kasey. They apologized as I helped them crawl through the cramped window and I just waved them off and threw myself back into bed. The next afternoon, I saw both the girls and they once again apologized for interrupting my sleep. I told them that there was no harm done except in the fact that they truly frightened me and (if I was a more alert person) I might have hurt them in some way, not knowing who they were.

Also that night, I started sleepwalking. I woke up next to Jessica's bed (she wasn't there that night) and was taking off all the random junk piled on her bed for no apparent reason. Needless to say, I was confused. Nonetheless, I lumbered back to my side of the room and went back to sleep.

So yeah, that was my really strange night. It was definitely weird. And slightly disturbing.

Epic Fail of the Week

About a week ago I lost my college I.D. And by "lost" I mean, it literally just dropped off the face of the planet. Well, I turned my perpetually-messy dorm room upside down looking for it (and then proceeded to clean it afterwards out of sheer frustration) then proceeded to do the same to my car. Alas, to no avail-- my I.D. was still lost. Ever the optimist, I thought to myself, "Well maybe I left it back at home this weekend," and decided that if I could not find it there that I would just buy a new one. Unfortunately, the drill went the same at home: bedroom-- no I.D., Jessica's house-- no I.D., Mom's car-- no I.D. Forlornly, I went back to school and decided to buy a new I.D.

As Monday rolled around, I went to the Student Services building and purchased my shiny new I.D. Finally, I could once again eat in the cafeteria and go to study hall! So exciting! The next day, Tuesday, I was getting ready to go the cafeteria for supper and decided I needed a jacket for the cafeteria. I reached for a light jacket which I had not worn in about two weeks and pulled it on. Reaching to zip it up, I felt my hand rake across something flat and plastic clipped to the bottom seam....

My old I.D.

A loud string of expletives that I'm sure could be heard ringing throughout the dorms exploded out of my mouth. My suite-mates, who were standing in our hallway, burst out in laughter and asked me what was wrong. In reply, I simply held up my old I.D. This prompted even more raucous laughter from them.

Cursing softly to myself, I continued my journey to the cafeteria where I got my food, scanned my old I.D., and sat down to the single most worst meal of my life.

So that's my epic fail of the week. Lovely.

Mom, Are You Reading This? It's My X-Mas List.

What do you get when you take director Kevin Smith, mix in a little bit of Batman, and multiply it by comic books?

Pure, unadulterated awesomeness.

Kevin Smith, the director of the cult classics Clerks, Mallrats, Dogma, has paired up with artist Walt Flanagan to create a new Batman comic which will be released tomorrow. It is called Batman: Cacophony

I know, weird title. But regardless!

The comic is a three-part miniseries that follows the villain Onomatopoeia (one of Smith's own creations) who has it out for the Dark Knight. It also features our favorite, the Joker, and the serial killer Victor Zsasz.

The comic will sell for $3.99, but you can get an autographed copy on Smith's website for $10.00. Here's the link: http://www.viewaskew.com/main.html

In other comic book news, there is a new Joker graphic novel out that bases the character on the Joker seen in The Dark Knight. It is simply named The Joker. It is written by Brian Azzarello who penned the acclaimed 100 Bullets series. He also collaborated with Frank Miller and Jim Lee in one of my favorite series All Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder.

And in step with this new, realistic Joker, the plot is as real and gritty as they come. After yet another stint in Arkham Asylum, the Joker decides to bust out an take back Gotham as it's number one crime boss and villain.

The whole comic is told through the Joker's eyes. And although Batman only shows up once or twice, he's always there somehow.

This comic book managed to re-imagine every single villain that we know an love-- but in a good way! The Joker is a hard-ass, slick crime boss. The Riddler is a Converse-wearing, genius punk who is followed by a gang of kids who's cars look like they're straight out of The Fast and The Furious. Harley Quinn is a tough biker babe who acts as the Joker's body guard. And that's only the beginning. Several other villains make their appearance as well, including Two-Face, Killer Croc, and the Penguin.

Needless to say, I'm extremely excited for both of these comics. They're already on my Christmas list. So hopefully, I'll be able to get them soon and update you guys on how they are.

Huh?

Well....Batman is suing The Dark Knight.

Don't believe me?

Follow this link.

Trust me. It's worth your time.

http://www.worstpreviews.com/headline.php?id=10773&count=0

Top Five Scariest Movies

Here is a movie list I compiled for the SMCC newspaper's Halloween edition. I wanted to post it here because I yearn for the good ol' days in Mr. Seal's journalism class when I got to go to the movies every weekend because "that was my job." Mr. Seal, if you're reading this then I hope it is up to snuff for you!


Top Five Scariest Horror Movies
by: Taylor Meyers

In the spirit of Halloween, I’ve compiled a list of what I believe are the scariest movies ever. So if you’ve seen them, maybe you can watch them again and if you haven’t watched them, you can try and find them. Have fun getting spooked!

The Shining
This movie is quite possibly both Jack Nicholson’s most recognizable role as well as one of Stanly Kubrick’s most popular masterpieces. “The Shining” is a slow-building, nerve-wracking, thriller that still shocks and terrifies even today. This is one of the few flawless horror films in cinematic history. Every detail in the movie is meticulously and perfectly crafted into a masterpiece of horror. Jack Nicholson’s twitchy, nail-biting performance is beautiful from beginning to end. As his sanity begins to slowly fade and tension builds, he has us asking “When is he going to snap?” and he does it when we least expect it. Nicholson’s brilliant acting is paralleled by child-actor Daniel Lloyd, who played the unwittingly terrifying son Danny. His famous “redrum” scene will make you scared to ever look at a mirror in the dark again. As both Danny and Jack are overtaken by the hotel’s ghosts, the scares get bigger and better. Quite possibly one of the most memorable and horrifying scenes in “The Shining” is the one in which Danny goes on an innocent big-wheel ride and meets the ghosts of two little girls. As they beckon “Come play with us,” it is revealed that they were brutally murdered by someone or something in the hotel. This particular scene still makes me wary of walking down hotel hallways alone… But no matter what scene scared you the most, one thing is certain: “The Shining” is a classic horror film that stands the tests of time and will continue to frighten for decades to come.


28 Days Later
This new-age, British horror is a refreshing new take on the zombie-horror genre. Cillian Murphy plays one of the last uninfected humans in London, and he must find a way to survive. This simple premise makes up a two hours of heart racing movie-making. One of the most disturbing scenes is the first—when a confused Jim (Murphy) awakes in a deserted hospital to discover that he is the last person alive in London. A sweeping, overhead shot shows the entire city deserted—the only signs of life being pictures of “missing” people adorning city walls and newspapers littering the streets. This first major scene gives the viewer the feeling of complete isolation and strips them of all hope. This simple feeling of desolation grows throughout the film and creates an atmosphere that most zombie movies don’t—you say to yourself, “This could really happen.” If you are a fan of zombie movies “28 Days Later” will put a new spin on the cult genre. The undead, aren’t really undead at all, but instead are crazed, primal humans. Director Danny Boyle’s interpretation of “zombies” is different, realistic, and wholly frightening. Although these zombies still crave human flesh, they also retain some of their human aspects—including the intelligence to ambush prey and the ability to run with amazing speed. The soft-focus camera work gives the whole film an eerie, documentary-like appearance that unnerves the viewer with its realism. This realism, paired with fantastic acting and cinematography, collaborates to make an uncannily different type of horror film.


Audition (Oodishon)
This is a Japanese tale of obsession, insanity, and the price that loneliness can cost you. The story revolves around Aoyama, a lonely widower who longs for a new wife. He and his friend, a movie producer, hold “auditions” for Aoyama’s potential new wife. Finally, Aoyama decides on a sweet, shy, and quiet girl named Asami. As the film progresses, we begin to see that Asami is not all she seems to be. Her past is a dark and strange one—laced with abuse, disappointment, and psychological damage. Soon, that psychological damage starts to leak out onto the screen. We get to witness the torture that Asami inflicts upon Aoyama’s family and friends—dismemberment, starvation, and imprisonment. In my opinion, the Asian filmmakers are the only ones today making truly frightening films. First, we had “Ringu”, then “Ju-On”, and then came “Audition.” All three films are genuinely unnerving and wholly terrifying in a very human and real way. “Audition” is comparable to America’s “Saw” franchise when it comes to frightening torture scenes—each one is unique, disturbing, and horrific. The whole film is done in only the way the Japanese can: high-saturated color, slow-paced, quiet scares, and then they finally springing the terror on you at the very end. “Audition” is pretty hard to find on DVD here in Mississippi, but if you do manage to find it, it’s worth your trouble. I guarantee you’ll have to spend the next few nights with the light on.


Jaws
This movie isn’t a horror film in the conventional sense—but it will scare the living daylights out of you. Nothing is scarier than a big, giant animal that can swallow you whole and digest you. Even more frightening is the fact that you don’t see the shark until the last twenty minutes of film (although this wasn’t intentional, it was simply because the mechanical shark kept malfunctioning.) The only thing that even hints at the shark’s is John Williams’ now-infamous score. Go on—try getting into the water without hearing that ominous “ba-dum…ba-dum…” in your head! The sheer ferocity of the shark’s appetite for the New England islanders is chilling—the death counts starts with one lonely skinny-dipper and rises to several vacationing tourists. Some of the most terrifying lines are simple facts, such as “Is it true that most people get attacked by sharks in about three feet of water?” and, “From the size of this bite-mark, I say we’re looking at at least a 12-footer.” Wrong. Dead wrong. After seeing this movie, most people won’t go near the beach much less go swimming. Comedian Dane Cook even said, “After watching Jaws, I won’t even drink a big glass of water.” But even if you can get in the water after watching the movie, “Jaws” will still stick with you for a long time.

It
This movie is quite possibly the root of all clown-based fears. Take creepy actor Tim Curry, add some even creepier clown makeup, and put it all together with writer Stephen King and you’ve got a film that will scar small children for life. I don’t know anyone who is not somehow frightened by this film—whether it is the clown, the demonic undertones, or Tim Curry’s teeth. “It” is just fright after fright after fright, nonstop for the entirety of the film. Stephen King is the master of horror, and he managed to take a seemingly innocent figure—a circus clown—and turn it into something completely evil and horrifying. Only King could do that. Tim Curry’s performance made Pennywise the Clown a staple in the rogue’s gallery of villains. The creepy, scratchy voice and the horrific pointy teeth make Pennywise both visually and emotionally terrifying. If you’re not afraid of clowns now, watch this film and I guarantee you’ll change your mind.

This was a little article I wrote for the SMCC newspaper The Pine Burr. The ending is a bit abrupt, but that was because it was running so long. My editor made me cut it down a bit and I had a deadline, so that was the best I could do. So enjoy!

A Most Remarkable Weekend in Birmingham
by Taylor Meyers


Last weekend, my roommate/best friend Jessica Holliday, her mother, and I went on a pilgrimage to Birmingham, Alabama. Our purpose was to see the Leonardo da Vinci exhibit featured at the Birmingham Museum of Art. I myself had never been to Birmingham before and was simply elated of the fact that I would be visiting a new city. Little did I suspect that Birmingham held more than just a museums and shops—it held a history and culture that was all its own.

Once we actually got to Birmingham (after a near sanity-shattering five hour car drive) we managed to get checked into our hotel. Happily, it was smack-dab in the middle of Birmingham, and only a few streets away from the museum—and much to our pleasure, a comfortable walking distance. The hotel itself was the Tutwiler, a hotel built in 1914 that has been preserved for generations and is now in the National Historic Hotel Registry. The outside’s architecture exuded the fine Southern Gothic days that were personified by steely black cars, refined men in black business suits, and women who never went out without their stocking and pumps. The interior was laden with the trappings of old-southern sophistication and elegance: wall-to-wall Persian carpeting, marble-floored bathrooms, gold filigree light fixtures, the works. The hotel seemed to be a placed that jumped off the page of a Tennessee Williams play or a William Faulkner novel. Needless to say, that night’s sleep was the best I've gotten in quite awhile.

The next morning, we left the hotel early so we could beat the crowd to the exhibit. The morning was crisp and cool, with a brisk wind that reminded all of us that fall had finally hit the South. Inside the museum however, it was dim and warm—a safe and nurturing feeling. We were directed by the slightly overweight security to the upstairs level where the exhibit was being held. After receiving magnifying glasses (given to us with the simple advice, “You’re gonna need it.”) we entered double-doors into a cool, dark room that held the works of The Great Master.

Imagine walking in to a dimly-lit room, and the first thing your still-adjusting eyes behold is a small scrap of paper—no larger than a dinner napkin—illuminated by a soft light. Upon this paper is, at first glance, what appears to be an unremarkable sketch of a woman’s face. But as you look closer, and your eyes finally adjust to the meticulously dimmed lights, you can begin to see the complex hatching and cross-hatching charcoal marks that make up shadows on the woman’s eyes, cheeks, and hair. Yes, at first glance this seemingly insignificant piece of paper may seem completely ordinary—but given second thought, it turns into a scrap of history and human progression incarnate. This is what it feels like to walk into a room filled with sketches by the great master himself, Leonardo da Vinci.

Every drawing was unremarkable at first glance. Well, as unremarkable as a drawing by Leonardo da Vinci can be! As my friend and I squeezed in closer to the glass covers, we began to see the complexity hidden in the simplicity of da Vinci’s work. Everything, no matter how small or insignificant was painstakingly detailed: eyes, hair, muscles, shadows, and the like. All of the sketches were drawn to be used in some of his later works. One, for example, was of a young woman with large, light eyes and curly hair. This young woman would later be transformed into an angel for the painting “The Virgin on the Rocks.”

Some of the most interesting were of horses. He sketched the hindquarters, forequarters, legs, and hooves of the beast so that he could use them later to build a giant, bronze horse called “Il Caravallo.” Legend has it that the only reason da Vinci wanted to build “Il Caravallo” was to spite his rival Michelangelo, who once said that da Vinci lacked the artistic ability to build statues. Although he did later build it, “Il Caravallo” was later scrapped and melted down for weaponry. This account of history made Jess and I muse upon how much art and history has been destroyed by man over time—and how distressing it is to know that we will never see said art.

Also featured in the exhibit was da Vinci’s sketch book, The Codex of Flight, which was his study of birds and how they moved and flew. The book showed that not only was da Vinci a master artist, but a leading pioneer in the study of flight. He was a leader of thought on the theory of headwinds and tailwinds as well as flight patterns. This codex would come into very important play when da Vinci was attempting to build his flying machine. The museum had an interactive computer program that allowed you to look through, translate, and read the codex. Translating the cryptic writing proved to be a difficult task for the researchers—da Vinci wrote both backwards and mirror-image.

After touring the museum, we continued our trek around Birmingham on foot. This proved to be a very smart move on our part. There happened to be and University of Alabama game going on that day and traffic was blocked off on most streets. The first place we visited was the civil right historic part of town. While there, we visited the 16th street church where in 1963 four little girls were killed in a bombing. Across the street from the church was the Civil Rights Museum, and across the street from that was Kelly Ingram Park, a park dedicated the civil rights movement.

While idling in Kelly Ingram Park, suddenly we were approached by an older black man that we would later learn was named Andrew. Softly he looked at us with smiling eyes and said, “Excuse me ladies, can I tell you what ya’ll have missed?” in a gentle voice. We looked at each other, and then back at the hunched but confident figure and nodded at him, and with this affirmation Andrew smiled and began to speak. He started to weave us a tapestry of the human history behind the park and its significance in the civil rights movement in Birmingham. As he spoke, Andrew’s gentle voice got louder, stronger, and sure with conviction. He explained the symbolism behind the several statues and sculptures in the park. It was once a whites-only park and a black person could get arrested for even walking through it, he told us. That was until three local preachers got down on their knees and prayed for equality in the South. This simple act of faith and defiance made the park a stepping-stone for demonstrations and protest all throughout the civil rights movement. Andrew told us his own personal story as well: as a child, he saw his neighborhood friends march in protest against the National Guard and police force. He saw friends arrested, hosed, and attacked by dogs during demonstrations in the park. He later became homeless and lived in the park until a local preacher approached him, helped him find a job, a home, and ultimately a sense of purpose in the world. Andrew told us, with a huge smile on his face, that he now spent his weekends telling strangers both his story and the story of the thousands who cannot speak today—the story of the black southerners that struggled through and overcame in the old South.

Andrew’s story was absolutely riveting. The three of us stood there for an hour, hanging on to this man’s every word. His story, his life, and what he lived through was simply captivating. He left us with one simple request: “When ya’ll leave me here, I want ya’ll to do one thing if nothin’ else…” He raised a long finger and pointed it to the center of the park where four fountains stood, immortalizing the four little girls who lost their lives in the bombing. He looked deep into our eyes and continued, “I want ya’ll to go over there, stand in the center of those four fountains…and just listen. Just listen. ‘Cause each fountain sounds different…’cause each of them little girls was different. Ain’t no one of them fountains sound the same…” He paused for a long moment, but never took his eyes of any of us. “I want ya’ll to read them words that’s wrote on the ground too…and just think about it…and if ya’ll don’t take away nothin’ else that I said today, at least take away them words.” And with that, he smiled a huge grin and shook all our hands and walked away.

As we left Kelly Ingram Park, we were emotionally charged and ready for something new. We eventually found our way to the McWane Science Center, a recreational science museum and IMAX theatre. After tooling around in the gift shop for a bit, we all made our way over to entertainment center of Birmingham. There we found a multi-color array of clothing shops, clubs, restaurants, and even tattoo parlors. After retrieving some much-needed Starbucks, we wandered into a shop called TriBeCa where we picked up a few beautiful items of clothing. Even the most menial task such as shopping seemed exotic and glamorous in this part of Birmingham. It didn’t seem as if we were even in the South anymore—it was like we were poles apart in some New York City village. Of course, that was probably all due to the fact that the entire city was novelty to me.

That night, we returned to the hotel and prepared ourselves for a night out on the town. Our plans were to attend the Alabama Theatre, the first motion picture and stage theatre to be built in Birmingham. They often showed old silent films and classic films at night and mixed them with onstage acting. That particular night, in the spirit of Halloween, the Alabama was showing the 1927 silent film “The Phantom of the Opera,” starring Lon Chaney and Mary Philbin. When we arrived at the theatre, there were several people dressed to the nines in elaborate costumes. One man greeted us outside the theatre dressed as the superhero The Phantom, another man had transformed into the invisible man by wrapping himself head to toe in gauze, and another fan had come as the dreaded Phantom himself. As we entered the theatre a porter greeted us with an eerie smile that would have rivaled Vincent Price. “Good evening ladies,” he said in a soft voice, tinged with a British accent. “Welcome to the Alabama Theatre. Be warned…the Phantom is in the theatre tonight. So please, keep one hand above your head at all times to avoid his noose!” This warning in mind, we looked at each other warily and entered the theatre lobby.

The theatre managed to mix classic theatre and performance art together to create a splendid showcase for the audience. For the introduction, two men dressed as Death strode in solemnly, holding candelabras. They then stood at the corners of the stage and awaited their four other companions, who wheeled in a large coffin. Suddenly, the coffin creaked open and out stepped a man dressed in dark clothing and a swathe cape. As he arose from the coffin, a huge organ ascended from a trap door in the stage and he strode over to it and began to play. For and hour and a half, he provided the music for the silent film, playing nonstop and incredibly well. After it was over, he bowed deeply to the audience and strode offstage with an actor dressed as the Red Death. And sadly, the show was over.

That night, we returned to our hotel feeling very happy and very cultured. We were all sad to be leaving the next morning. As we began our drive back to Mississippi, we were weary with lack of sleep and the excitement of the day before. It seems strange that a city that is so close to home can still be so different and exciting. Birmingham, to a complete stranger like me, seemed like a city teeming rich with culture and tradition—all of which were fun to be a part of for a weekend.

Random Fact of the Day

Random Fact: Orson Welles was not always fat!

Huh.

Found this out by watching Prince of Foxes this weekend with my mom. The guy was actually kinda slick back then.

Who knew?

Just felt like posting a random fact.

What's Got Two Thumbs and Is Stoked about "The Watchmen?" THIS CHICK!

So, as many of you may know, one of the greatest comic book ever inked upon a page is coming to the big screen. That's right, Alan Moore's "The Watchmen."

And guess who is about to pee her pants in excitement?

ME!

At first, I was a bit leery about this masterpiece being transferred onto film. What with some of the more recent comic book fiascoes (see: Ang Lee's "Hulk" and Brett Ratner's third X-Men installment) I was a worried that some other asshat might come along and screw it up. But miracle of miracles, the people at Warner Bros decided to entrust this little nugget of awesomeness to the equally awesome Zack Snyder. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the ever-unstable and confusing terrain of Hollywoodland, Zack Snyder is the brilliant mind behind 300. Yes, I know. Take a moment to squeal in excitement.

Done? Okay, moving on...

I have immense faith in Snyder considering the ground-breaking work he did in 300. (And for those of you who disagree, you can go wallow in the drivel of Brett Ratner you great pillock.) From the footage I have seen of Watchmen it seems that he might just blow us away again in 2009.

The footage and trailers that have been released look very true to the style of the comics. The artist Dave Gibbons used a lot of secondary colors (purples, greens, oranges) to give the whole comic a different look-- Snyder is keeping true to this when it comes to costumes and set designs. Even the large-scale sets of New York City seems like something out of an Acid House dream.

Casting also stays true to the comic as well. Remember how in Sin City all the actors looked pretty much exactly like their characters? Watchmen is no different. Every actor seems like they were born to play their character from the most minute-- like the news stand guy-- to the biggest characters such as The Comedian.

Really the only way they can possibly screw this up is if the actors are bad. And I mean really bad. But I doubt that Snyder would lack the foresight to cast crappy actors. Anyway, just like in 300, I doubt that non-comic book fans will be paying much attention to dialogue or acting: the special effects alone look like a visual treat that will distract people from any discrepancies.

"But Taylor, why is this considered one of the greatest comic books of all time?" You ask.

Well person, I'll tell you why. In a list!

1. Alan Moore. Author of V for Vendetta, The Killing Joke, Swamp Thing, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, this list could go on and on...

2. Superheroes with no actual superpowers. "Preposterous!" you say?! Well I slap you heartily upon the head with fine sheep mutton and say nay! The cool thing about these "superheroes" is that they are actually vigilantes-- just regular old Joes and Janes who just choose to kick ass and take names. Like Chuck Norris, but mortal.

3. Dave Gibbons. This ground-breaking artist has drawn for every publisher out there: Dark Horse, DC, Marvel, Vertigo, you name it. His unique use of paneling and smooth panel transitions make you feel like you are a part of the story. His prominent use of secondary colors is also quite intriguing.

4. Plot twists galore! If you like plot twists, then this is the comic for you. Oh hoo hoo hoo, will this comic make you go "What the crap?" every issue. But in the good way.

This list could go on for a while, but I'll just leave it at that.

All in all, this movie seems like the ultimate geekgasm. During the first showing of its trailer, I sat, mouth agape, staring at the huge screen that housed my favorite story. After the trailer was over with, I couldn't help but cheer loudly and go "Hot damn! Can't wait!" It has become my new Dark Knight. Ever since DK went out of theatres, I now have Watchmen to look forward to! Oh, anticipation, why do you torture me so?

So my friends, lets all take a moment and thank who or whatever it is that you worship for Zack Snyder, who (along with the help of a fantastic man named Christopher Nolan) helped restore our faith in the comic-book-turned-major-motion-picture genre. Thank you Zack. Thank you Saint Christopher Nolan. We love you. So much.

For The Love of God, DO NOT watch "The Happening"

I'd like to start out by saying this: M. Night Shyamalan...please stop. Just...stop. Seriously. You haven't made a good movie since Signs so just stop trying before you become this generation's Ed Wood.

Now, on to my main point.

For Halloween, a bunch of friends and I wanted to rent a scary movie. Since our video stores don't carry many of the great classics (i.e. The Shining, Last House On the Left) we were forced to choose a new scary movie. Unfortunately someone, somewhere dropped the ball and we came home with The Happening.

I knew from the opening credits that it was going to be terrible. It was like, 15 minutes of nothing but clouds and names. If you're going to do an opening credit sequence, at least do something interesting! Like, Hard Candy-- that was a pretty cool opening sequence. From there it only went downhill. It was all blood and gore (badly CG'd blood and gore, I might add) and no solid plot, character development, or drama. And the whole reason behind "the happening" is confusing and frankly, stupid.

All I can say is thank God for Mark Wahlberg. The poor guy, he tries to carry the rest of the cast (that means you Zooey Deschanel, you moppet) as well as he can, but eventually get drug down with the rest of him. He manages to keep his head above the water for most of the movie.

Good ol' Mark Wahlberg: he's an Oscar-nominated actor and he can talk to animals. Say hello to your mother for us, Marky.

So I beg you people,

Please, for the love of sweet baby Jesus, DO NOT watch The Happening! It is a complete and utter waste of two hours of your life that you will never, ever get back! There are better, more entertaining things to do with your time! Plant a tree, watch The Office, pet your dog, hug your mom, read a book (as long as it's not Twilight), do ANYTHING other that watch this movie!

If you refute this warning, then a curse upon your head! For you were warned!

Reasons Why My Suite Mates Think I'm Insane

1. I'm in my room right now watching Rocky Horror Picture Show and doing the audience participation alone. Nothing screams "clinically insane" like an 18 year-old girl yelling "That man has no f@%*ing neck" and "Slut!" at a television by herself.

2. I tend to go into random spasms of dancing. Just yesterday in fact I ran into Kasey's room, looked at her for a slight second and then started doing my patented "Whitest Girl Ever" dance. Then, I proceeded to giggle maniacally and run back into my room.

3. When I cook anything I have to hold it up and go "Om nom nom nom!!" in a loud and obnoxious voice. This tends to creep out my suite mates...except for Jess, who happens to think it's hilarious.

4. Random bouts of hyperactivity often portrays heavy drug use, or lack of proper medication. With me, it's neither. But my suite-mates don't know that, unfortunately. Yet another reason for them to think that I need a nice little jacket that helps me hug myself.

5. Finally, yelling out (in public, no less) "Hey girl, lemme pee in yo' butt!" to any and all my teammates when I see them is highly inappropriate and slightly crazy. It embarrasses them sometimes and this makes them think that I'm kinda loose in the head. Also, my exclamation of happiness is "What what in the butt!" which I don't think is common.

So yeah...sorry Kasey, Lisa, Jess, Johna, and Kassy...I swear I'm completely normal! Well...maybe I'm minorly crazy...only minorly...

Election 2008-- A New Beginning?

Well, well, well...

Here we are. Another election past. Another defeat and another success. Barack Obama is now our next president, come January. And you know how I feel? The same way I've felt since the end of the Democratic primaries.

Nervous.

I myself was one of those people who thought that this year's election was the 3 for 3 in epic fails. 2000: Bush vs. Gore. 2004: Bush vs. Kerry (honestly people, was John Kerry the best we could come up with?!) 2008: McCain vs. Obama. I didn't like McCain or Obama. But I didn't strongly dislike them either. They both had their strong and weak points, but I felt as if the weak outweighed the strong. Example: John McCain-- experience political figure, strong ideas BUT he's Bush Jr. and he picked Sarah "VP Barbie" Palin for his running mate. Why oh, why? Barack Obama-- good speaker, strong leader BUT very little experience and voted absentee on most Senate bills. Not good, not trustworthy. As far as I'm concerned, both of them talked a lot and said very little.

So, as far as I'm concerned, this election was like choosing between two bowls of crap and the only difference between the two was the smell. (Thank you Lewis Black for giving me that graphic analogy!)

But on to my point: why I'm nervous.

This country is teetering on the slippery edge of depression. Jobs are being outsourced overseas (my own dad, a 20 year man, lost his job because of this,) the price of the dollar is plummeting, businesses are shutting down-- you get my point. And at this point, I'm not sure if it can be fixed by anyone. Neither Democrat nor Republican.

But hey, maybe I'm wrong. Barack's a smooth-talking guy with big ideas. Maybe he can get this country straight.

God, I hope so.

I mean, let's look at the positives: All three branches are now controlled by Democrats. With an African-American as president, other nations can no longer look at America as a "close-minded and racist nation." And hell, the guy might just be able to save us from depression.

My one biggest fear is that someone, somewhere might assassinate him. I hope and pray that no one is that stupid. All it would cause is utter, complete chaos. It would just cement the thought to every other country that America is a "racist nation" and I completely and wholly believe that it would cause this nation to erupt in a civil war. I know this sounds far-fetched, but I've always believed that the United States would fall, not as the result of an outside enemy, but because of civil conflict. Most great nations and empire go down that way. And withing 500 years of their conception. But that's just me being a paranoid conspiracy-theorist.

But back to the issue at hand:

The truth is that now all we can do is wait and see. Just sit back, put our hands behind our heads, and say "Okay, President Obama, whaddya got for us?" And we, as a nation, are gonna demand results fast. Not because he's "a black man" and not because he's a Democrat-- but because he is the nation's new leader. Period.

So, President Obama, I wish you none but the best! Good luck! Because I daresay that you're going to need it...as will we all...

What IN THE HELL is the deal with Twilight?

Okay, it seems that nowadays you can't go anywhere without seeing something about Twilight. For example, every time I'm online I see hordes of Facebook Bumper Stickers proclaiming somebody's love for Edward Cullen. At Wal-Mart, while doing some grocery shopping there were the paperback novels stacked up next to the cash register. And even the other day, while napping peacefully in my dorm room, I recieved an e-mail on my Blackberry about pre-ordering the Twiligh Soundtrack from HotTopic.com. So my question is,



WHAT IN THE HELL IS THE BIG EFFIN' DEAL?



I've read the books people (well, by "books" I mean the first one and like, half the second one.) But I tried...I really did. But honestly folks, why the hell are all these girls (and by girls, that's also including some of the 21 year-olds I know who read them) getting hot and bothered by these books? I'm sorry Stephanie Meyer, but you are no J.K. Rowling-- even on your best day and her worst. Meyer's writing is mediocre at best.

This is my interpretation of a Twilight novel. Ahem...

Bella: "Oh my god, Edward Cullen is so hot. Oh, but I can't have him because he's a vampire. But he's sooooooo hot!"

Edward: "I'm a really hot vampire who could possibly snap one day and kill you. But what the hell, I'm-a be your boyfriend anyway. Did we establish the fact that I'm hot?"

Antagonist: "Hi. I'm a random antagonist. I'm most likely a vampire who also wants to eat the emo human chick, but apparantly the hot vampire's not havin' it."

Bella: "Oh no! Hot vampire Edward-- who is hot-- save me!"

Edward: "Okay! But can I do it...sexifully?"

Antagonist: "Damn man, you kicked my ass, got the girl, AND managed to look HOT while doing it! You rock!"

All: "EDWARD IS SO HOT!"

What the hell? That's basically it! We get it for chrissakes, the vampire is hot. Okay, awesome. How 'bout some character development for crying out loud? And no Stephanie Meyer, character development does not mean "she kisses him in this book, but in the next book the sleeps with him." Not character development. Not.

Okay, Meyer, so you're pretty good at coming up with cute little quips for our main characters to say. Big whoop, that doesn't make you a writer that makes you a creative smartass. Guess who else is a creatvie smartass? *points to herself* You don't see me making millions of dollars off of middle school girls and fat, lonely emo chicks do you?

So...honestly...someone tell me...what is the deal with the Twilight fascination? I'd like to be enlightened.