Sunday, December 14, 2008

Five Great Actors In Five Bad Films

#1 Ray Liotta in In The Name of The King: Dungeon Seige
It's a Uwe Boll film. It's a UWE BOLL film. It's. A. Uwe. Boll. Film. As soon as Liotta saw that, he should've bailed as quick as he could have. How he went from Goodfellas to that, I'll never know.

# 2 Ben Kingsley in BloodRayne
Once again, UWE EFFIN' BOLL manages to suck the life out of another great actor's career. Why Ben Kingsley? You worked with Sir Richard Attenborough, so why in the name of all that is holy would you want to work with the likes of Uwe Boll?

# 3 Elizabeth Taylor in The Flinstones
I think Liz made this film when she first started to go crazy and hang around Liza Minelli and Michael Jackson. Unfortunatley, John Goodman, Elizabeth Perkins, Rosie O'Donnell, Kyle McLaughlin and Halle Berry don't have that excuse. God, how could so many good people screw up so badly?

#4 Robert de Niro in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein
If you have ever seen this movie, I'm so sorry. If you haven't, consider yourself lucky. Robert de Niro plays Frankenstein's monster. I'll repeat that: Frankenstein's monster. Can you picture that? An Italian, reanimated corpse, lumbering through the English countryside with Kenneth Branagh on his heels. It would be funny junk if it weren't so sad.

#5 Anthony Hopkins in Alexander
Ah, Alexander...how you managed to turn so many respectable actors (and rock stars in Jared Leto's case) into money-seeking, blockbuster whores is unfathomable to me. I mean, just look what it did to Anthony Hopkins and Val Kilmer...poor guys.

No comments: