What IN THE HELL is the deal with Twilight?

Okay, it seems that nowadays you can't go anywhere without seeing something about Twilight. For example, every time I'm online I see hordes of Facebook Bumper Stickers proclaiming somebody's love for Edward Cullen. At Wal-Mart, while doing some grocery shopping there were the paperback novels stacked up next to the cash register. And even the other day, while napping peacefully in my dorm room, I recieved an e-mail on my Blackberry about pre-ordering the Twiligh Soundtrack from HotTopic.com. So my question is,



WHAT IN THE HELL IS THE BIG EFFIN' DEAL?



I've read the books people (well, by "books" I mean the first one and like, half the second one.) But I tried...I really did. But honestly folks, why the hell are all these girls (and by girls, that's also including some of the 21 year-olds I know who read them) getting hot and bothered by these books? I'm sorry Stephanie Meyer, but you are no J.K. Rowling-- even on your best day and her worst. Meyer's writing is mediocre at best.

This is my interpretation of a Twilight novel. Ahem...

Bella: "Oh my god, Edward Cullen is so hot. Oh, but I can't have him because he's a vampire. But he's sooooooo hot!"

Edward: "I'm a really hot vampire who could possibly snap one day and kill you. But what the hell, I'm-a be your boyfriend anyway. Did we establish the fact that I'm hot?"

Antagonist: "Hi. I'm a random antagonist. I'm most likely a vampire who also wants to eat the emo human chick, but apparantly the hot vampire's not havin' it."

Bella: "Oh no! Hot vampire Edward-- who is hot-- save me!"

Edward: "Okay! But can I do it...sexifully?"

Antagonist: "Damn man, you kicked my ass, got the girl, AND managed to look HOT while doing it! You rock!"

All: "EDWARD IS SO HOT!"

What the hell? That's basically it! We get it for chrissakes, the vampire is hot. Okay, awesome. How 'bout some character development for crying out loud? And no Stephanie Meyer, character development does not mean "she kisses him in this book, but in the next book the sleeps with him." Not character development. Not.

Okay, Meyer, so you're pretty good at coming up with cute little quips for our main characters to say. Big whoop, that doesn't make you a writer that makes you a creative smartass. Guess who else is a creatvie smartass? *points to herself* You don't see me making millions of dollars off of middle school girls and fat, lonely emo chicks do you?

So...honestly...someone tell me...what is the deal with the Twilight fascination? I'd like to be enlightened.