WTF: The Comedian Is On Grey's Anatomy

So, last Thursday I sat down to my usual viewing of "The Office." It was a fantastically hilarious episode, as usual (see, "Hilary Swank: Hot or Not" debate,) but after it was over I was bored and had nothing else to do. One of my suitemates was off studying somewhere, and the other was doing her usual thing of partying and debauchery. Well, I picked myself up and walked myself next door to my friend KP's room. When I walked in, I discovered that she was immersed in an episode of "Grey's Anatomy." Now, I'm one of the few vagina-possessing creatures that doesn't really like this show. I find it unrealistic in that icky way. I myself have never had a smoking-hot doctor, nor have anyone I ever known ever gotten laid by their hot lady doctors.

But I digress.

I decided to watch anyway, and had KP talk me through what was happening. Which basically went like this:

"Okay, so he was a patient of hers and they fell in love and then he died... And now she's seeing his ghost and they slept together, although I don't know how you can sleep with a ghost... Oh and this kid is dying 'cause he can't get organs and I think he dies at the end of this episode... But anyway, this guy is in prison and he got sick and now she's taking care of him... Oh but the ghost guy is coming back for her cause it's like her time y'know what I'm saying?"

But again, I digress.

Anyway, while I was trying to muscle my way past Katharing Heigl's bad acting, I noticed that her ghostly lover was in fact Jeffrey Dean Morgan-- the guy who plays the Comedian in the upcoming Watchmen film! How awkward is that? Upon realizing this, I simply turned around to KP and said, "Y'know they killed him off to give him an actual acting career right?" Which was kinda mean.

But it is quite odd that he went from being the "sensitive, dying guy" to a total badass, cigar-smoking, manly hot, vigilante. Given his semi-pained look throughout the episode, I think he fits in more with the latter. All I can say is thank God for Zack Snyder and Warner Brothers for pulling him out of that dreck that is "Grey's Anatomy."

So that was your "WTF Moment of the Day."

Random Fact of the Day

Chinese filmmakers in Hong Kong are preparing to make the world's first 3-D pornographic film. The film, which is entitled 3-D Sex and Zen, will be released to wide audiences in China. It is budgeted for $4 million and is projected to be released in April.

Hmm...

Well, I guess since China is leading the world's economy and industry right now that they have a lot of extra money to spend on crap like this.

Oscar Nominations Are Here!

It's Oscar time ladies and gentlemen! It's been a long and arduous journey for some, while for others this is just another day at the rodeo. But this Oscar night is shaping up to be a great one! Here are the nominations for the main categories, my predictions for winners, my fantasy picks, and who I thought got snubbed.

Best Picture:
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
Milk
The Reader
Slumdog Millionare
Projected Win: Slumdog Millionare
My Pick: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Epic Snub: The Dark Knight

Best Director:
Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionare)
David Fincher (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button)
Ron Howard (Frost/Nixon)
Gus Van Sant (Milk)
Stephen Daldry (The Reader)
Projected Win: Danny Boyle
My Pick: David Fincher
Epic Snub: Christopher Nolan (The Dark Knight)

Best Actor:
Frank Langella (Frost/Nixon)
Brad Pitt (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button)
Richard Jenkins (The Visitor)
Sean Penn (Milk)
Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler)
Projected Win: Sean Penn
My Pick: Mickey Rourke
Epic Snub: I don't really have one.

Best Actress:
Kate Winslet (The Reader)
Anne Hathaway (Rachel Getting Married)
Melissa Leo (Frozen River)
Angelina Jolie (Changeling)
Meryl Streep (Doubt)
Projected Win: Kate Winslet
My Pick: Kate Winslet
Epic Snub: Cate Blanchette (The Curious Case of Benjamin)

Best Supporting Actor:
Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight)
Robert Downey Jr. (Tropic Thunder)
Josh Brolin (Milk)
Phillip Seymour Hoffman (Doubt)
Michael Shannon (The Reader)
Projected Win: Heath Ledger
My Pick: I'm calling this a tie between Heath and Robert Downey Jr.
Epic Snub: James Franco (Pineapple Express)

Best Supporting Actress:
Amy Adams (Doubt)
Taraji P. Henson (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button)
Penelope Cruz (Vicky Christina Barcelona)
Viola Davis (Doubt)
Marisa Tomei (The Wrestler)
Projected Win: Marisa Tomei
My Pick: Penelope Cruz
Epic Snub: Kate Winslet (Revolutionary Road)

Best Original Screenplay:
Frozen River
Happy-Go-Lucky
In Bruges
WALL-E
Milk
Projected Win: WALL-E
My Pick: In Bruges

Best Adapted Screenplay:
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Doubt
Frost/Nixon
The Reader
Slumdog Millionare
Projected Win: Slumdog Millionare
My Pick: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Epic Snub: The Dark Knight

Best Animated Feature:
WALL-E
Bolt
Kung-Fu Panda
Projected Win: WALL-E
My Pick: Kung-Fu Panda

Five Best Guilty Pleasure TV Shows

There are certain things that people enjoy that they don't want other people to know about. Take for example, Rick Astley. He's an annoying little British ginger kid who just happen to make one of the catchiest tunes of the eighties. Everyone loves "Never Gonna Give You Up." Absolutely everyone. Chuck Norris listens to it while he's having sex, that's how good it is to get Rick-rolled. But I digress. Rick Astley is a prime example of a "guilty pleasure," something that everyone loves but they just won't admit to it. Television is a land that is chock full of guilty pleasures that are just waiting to be mined and used by the masses of viewers! Here are a few of the best guilty pleasure shows on television:

#5 "Metalocalypse"
Spinal Tap For The Youngins: I was watching this on Adult Swim one night when my roommate came in from work, stopped, stared at the TV for a few seconds, and then turned to me and said: "What the hell are you watching?" Naturally I flipped the channel and said, "Nothing, I was just flipping through." That should say enought about this show. "Metalocalypse" is so utterly vile, so demented, so violent, that one has to be a little nutsy (or a massive metal fan) to be able to understand and enjoy it. I'm such a fan to this show that I even have the fictional band's real album-- Dethklok, the Dethablum. Pretty sad, huh?

#4 "Law and Order: SVU"
Kinda Like "CSI: Miami," Only No Horatio: And what kind of murder/rape-crime show is complete without Horatio, you ask? Well my answer is one that replaces him with Ice-T, Jayne Mansfield's daughter, a kinda-hot older dude, a gay Asian pychiatrist, Short-Skirt Lawyer Lady, and the most neurotic Jewish guy alive (right behind Woody Allen) Richard Belzer. This show is sometimes so self-righteous, so serious, that it makes fun of itself. But that's not what makes this a guilty pleasure. What makes this a guilty pleasure is the fact that when there's a marathon on USA, you have to watch. You just have to. And when you're done, the mentality you have is "Dude, I could totally get away with a crime now! I know exactly what not to do!" Admit it-- we've all thought that way at least once after watching a crime show.

#3 "America's Next Top Model"
FIERCE! Oh, Tyra Banks...where would we be today without your knowledge? You taught us how to "smile with your eyes" and how to be rockin' and fierce! You and your cohorts like the Jays gave us so many memorable lines, such as:

"Girl, work it like it's on sale and the rent is due tomorrow!"

Oh, and who can ever forget those ever-memorable Tyra freak outs? Like in Cycle 6 when you went ape-shit on Tiffany. Don't these skinny bitches know to never talk back to the Red Weave of Death? Oh, and the Jays-- the two most flamboyantly, flaming homosexuals in television history. How we love them. Mr. Jay with his fabulous Oompa-Loompa orange tan and silver hair and Miss J with his/her gorgeous walks and ghetto fabulosity. All this culminates into one big, fat, luxurious camp shake that we just enjoy slurping up. In fact, ANTM is so over-the-top, so self-righteous, so Tyra-centered, that's what makes it a fantastic guilty pleasure.

#2 Vintage Cartoons
How Did They Get Away With That? Remember those halcyon days of old? Saturday mornings spent in front of the TV with a bowl of Froot-Loops and your cartoon friends to keep you company...ah, yes, those were the good old days. Growing up, our generation had the best cartoons to go on: "Cow and Chicken," "Captain Planet," "Spongebob Squarepants," "Powerpuff Girls," "Batman: The Animated Series," "Johnny Bravo," "Dexter's Laboratory," "June Bugs," so on and so forth. But the great thing about these cartoons is that they're still funny to this day! I sat all Monday and watch a twenty-four hour "Powerpuff Girl" marathon and laughed my ass off the entire time. Of course, I'd never admit that to any of my fellow college students. The best part about old cartoons is that now that we're older, we catch subtle innuendos that we never would have when we were young. Some of the stuff in these cartoons just made me go "How the heck did they get away with that?"

#1 "Rock of Love With Bret Michaels"
Dirty, Dirty Awesomeness: What can I say? I love skanky hoes trying to get with an aging rock star with bad extensions! This show is so utterly terrible and vile that it is playing a key role in the downfall of Western civilation itself-- but it's so damn addictive! Over three seasons, we've had strippers, porn stars, rodeo girls, and "innocent" girls all vye for the heart of former Poison frontman Bret Michaels. Of course, there have been catfights. One or two girls may have been called a "d***sucker whorebag" on a few occasions. There have beens drunken debauches and many of those black-bar things scattered across bare boobs on-screen. And sure, after we watch it we feel as if we need a shower to wash off all the mainstream, corporate, mind-numbing dreck of it all. But man, we just wanna find out if Bret's ever gonna find true love or not. The utter stupidity and whoreishness of "Rock of Love" is what earns this show the number one spot.

Ten Great Foreign Films

For years, other countries have led the way in filmmaking. During a time when kissing wasn't even allowed on American screens, European countries were making films like I Am Curious (Yellow) and Ecstasy. In a modern period of so-called "American Horror" filmmaking, the asians are making some of the scariest films ever dreamt up. Yes, it seems that foreign filmmakers are always a step ahead of American filmmakers. Here is a showcase of some of the best foreign films made. *Oh, and production note: I didn't have alot of the codes to do the accent marks on these foreign titles, so they might not be the exact spelling. Sorry guys!*

#10 Le Souffle a Coeur (A Murmur of the Heart)
Country of Origin: France
Plot: After a 14 year-old boy is found to have a heart murmur, he and his mother go to live in a sanatorium in bourgeios France. He and his mother grow closer as he comes into age, and he begins to experience his first feelings of love, loss, and lust.
Tres Bien! This is an especially odd coming-of-age story. It was made in the 70's when everything was that Free Love stuff and y'know, anything goes. There's some pretty racy stuff going on here (i.e. underage sexual situations, incest, and Ginger nudity) but if you can look past all of that, it's an amazingly emotional story. Watch a clip here!

#9 Lola Rennt (Run Lola Run)
Country of Origin: Germany
Plot: Lola is an ordinary young woman put into extraordinary circumstances. In order to save her boyfriend Manni's life, she must find a way to retrieve 100,000 markes (dollars) in 20 minutes.
Spannend! Told in non-linear story lines, this film is an action-packed nail-biter that will keep you on the edge of your seat. It is told with three alternate results that all somehow connect, but who all end differently. This film is perfect for the movie-goer who wants a little something different out of their action films.

#8 Det sjunde inseglet (The Seventh Seal)
Country of Origin: Sweden
Plot: What would you do in order to beat Death? Knight Antonius Block is willing to play the ethereal master of fate in chess in order to buy himself some time to see his wife. During their game, all knight, death, and squire encounter several events that reveal to them that they have not lived a life wasted.
Klassiker! This is considered one of the best-made films in the history of cinema. I have to say, it is done quite nicely. This supernatural drama is a wonderful look at the value of life, and of a life well-lived. Also, Death looks really cool.

#7 Rashomon (In A Grove)
Country of Origin: Japan
Plot: Four people recount the rape of a young woman and the murder of her husband. All of the stories are contradictory of each other, leaving the viewer to be judge and jury.
Hentenko ken Imaimashii! This movie set the bar for both Japanese and American filmmakers. After Rashomon, all Asian filmmakers flocked to edgy movies and haven't looked back since. If you're a fan of Asian films, or if you're looking to get into them then this is the film for you.

#6 Haxan (The Witches)
Country of Origin: Sweden/Danish
Plot: A "true" study of witchcraft through the ages, this film is based on the Malleus Maleficarum, or "Hammer of the Witches"-- a manual on how to deal with sorceresses that was publish during the Inquisition.
Bisarr! This Scandinavian film was actually banned in the U.S. because of "graphic depictions of witchcraft, sexuality, and nudity." The silent film was supposed to be a propaganda film warning the public against the lure of evil-- kind of like the American film Reefer Madness.

#5 Y tu Mama Tambien (And Your Mother Too)
Country of Origin: Mexico
Plot: Set against the political turmoil of Mexican government, two young men find themselves on a road trip across their native country.
Un pelicula muy atractiva! Sexy, thought-provoking, funny, and beautifully shot. What more could a viewer ask for?

#4 Nosferatu: Eins Symphonie des Grauens (Nosferatu: A Symphony of Terror)
Country of Origin: Germany
Plot: Evil has risen out of the grave, and it's name is nosferatu. The vampire Orlok has set his sights on a young woman named Lucy and it's up to a few brave men to stop the demon.
Du kannst mich mal, Twilight! Before there was Edward, before there was Satanico, before Gary Oldman as Dracula, there was Count Orlok. Nosferatu is the preemptive vampire film-- the creme de la creme, the king of vampire movies. Frightening even to this day, Max Schreck's eerie performance stands the test of time by continuing to haunt audiences around the world.

#3 Irreversible
Country of Origin: France
Plot: Told in a completely backward timeline, two friends go on a quest to find the man called le Tenia (literally, The Tapeworm) in a effort to seek revenge for the girl he raped earlier that night.
Entier! This film is not one for the weak of heart, nor for the average film-goer. This film was called "The Most Walked Out Movie At Cannes"-- but not because of bad filmmaking, but because of the realism of it's content. Besides being wonderfully shot using intense colors and camera work, this film treats its viewers as if they are just part of the experience. The most hard-hitting part of the film is the rape of the girl Alex (played by Monica Bellucci.) The scene itself depicts is a nine-minute, one-shot, uncut, gut-wrenching, realistic portrayal of a rape. Several time-tested critics had to leave the theatre in shock and emotion at the scene, proclaiming it to be "too real." My friends, if you think you know torture, gore, or intensity, think again-- this film will almost certainly set you aback.

#2 Ladri di biciclette (The Bicycle Thief)
Country of Origin: Italy
Plot: In a beautifully-spun tale of poverty and the desperation it instills in people, a young couple must do what they can to survive-- even if this means selling wedding sheets and stealing bicycles.
Classico! Bicycle Thief is often cited as many filmmaker's most inspiring film. It certainly a beautiful tale of the human condition. The beautiful Italian language also ties this film together, making almost like a spoken-word opera.

#1 A Bout de Souffle (Breathless)
Country of Origin: France
Plot: Michel is a punk. But just not any kind of punk. A charming punk. Using this charm, he manages to trick his American girlfriend Patricia into hiding him from the police. In this awkward reunion, the two reconnect in a way that they never had before.
Jolie chose! This is such a wonderfully-film. Director Jean-Luc Godard made beautiful use of jump cuts and other cinematic devises. Jean Seberg is a wonderful leading lady, peppering the film with moments of innocence, ignorance, and playfulness. In contrast to her is Jean-Paul Belmondo as the conniving Michel. They play off of each other fantastically-- chemistry is abundant on-screen. This film is a gorgeous telling of love and the lies it leads us to. A perfect comedy/romance/crime-drama for any generation!

Commercials We Wish Would Go Away

It's the new year folks. It's almost time for the Superbowl which means two things: football and coporate whoreishness. Now that it's almost time for all those Superbowl commercials, I think it time for some other commercials to throw in the towel. Here are my suggestions:

#5 Whopper Jr.
You gotta admit, Burger King comes up with some pretty original ad campaigns. Most recently we've had the Whopper Virgins (which sounds like a bad porno name to me) and the Angry Onion commercials. But they need to seriously retire the angsty Whopper Jr. bit. It got old really fast. Hey Whopper Jr., remember that whole "I wish I'd never been broiled!" bit...well we wish that too.

#4 Geico Cavemen
C'mon you guys...you made a doomed sitcom out of your commercials...isn't that enough? After said sitcom died, why did you have to go back to making those god-awful commercials? Shouldn't that have told you something? Something like, "The caveman's dead. Stick with the CG gecko." Hmm? I dunno, whatever keeps those dudes working.


#3 Cash For Gold
"I had no idea that my gold jewelry was worth so much money!" Is that so? Then maybe you shouldn't be trusting some quick-cash mail-in scam, dip-stick. The utter stupidity of the people that they get to "testify" in the commercials is staggering to me.

#2 The Snuggie
Ugh...how it pains me to even type the word Snuggie. It's basically just a backless hospital gown/blanket combination. It's like someone stole a Jedi's robe and scissored it up the back. But really, who's that much of a lazy bastard that they just won't put on a hoodie or something? The quote about having to free up your arms and get them cold with a blanket, really? It's not like you're living in the Antarctic and if you have to use your arms outside of the blanket they're gonna freeze off. And the worst about these commercials is they actually show people wearing these hideous contraptions in public. No one, I repeat, no one in their right mind would wear a Snuggie out of their house. In fact, don't wear one period-- Snuggies steal your soul.

#1 Any and All Erectile Dysfunction Medication Commercials
WE GET IT! Your penis doesn't work! Stop telling us about it by hiring some guy called Smilin' Bob to hawk your product for you! Or by massacring a classic Elvis song like "Viva Las Vegas" to say "Viva Viagra!" We don't wanna know Levitra that you can last up to 48 hours! Ew! And I'm sorry, but if you have a boner that lasts more than four hours, you shouldn't call a doctor, you should call a brothel cause buddy you're in for a great time. But just don't tell us about it. This goes for herpes treatment commercials and for any period-related media as well. Do your advertising via magazines and internet-- not the television that the whole family watches.

Ten Must-See Documentaries

You asked for it (well, Ryan did at least) and here it is. The list of the ten best documentaries I've ever seen. Granted, it's always hit-or-miss with documentaries but these are the creme-de-la-creme, so go out and find them today! Expand your minds, kiddies!

#10 No Direction Home
Plot: This documentary follows the life of legendary folk musician Bob Dylan. From his arrival in New York City to his high-profile "retirement" from touring in 1966, this Scorsese-directed journey gives the audience an insight into the mysterious and influential young man.
Why It's A Must-See: Any music fan will love this documentary. Dylan is one of the most influential musicians in the world and the messages in his songs transcend generations of fans. The fact that we are allowed a peek into the artistic mind of this man is reason alone to want to see this film. Not to mention it was directed by the great Martin Scorsese.


#9 A Personal Journey With Martin Scorsese Through American Movies
Plot: Legendary director Martin Scorsese recalls some of his favorite films and how they inspired him in his childhood and young adult life.
Why It's A Must-See: Martin Scorsese is a brilliant director, and to see and hear how his inner mind works is absolutely riveting. His love for movies staggers even the biggest part of film buff in me. It's simply amazing to hear him so tenderly speak of the movies he loves to watch over and over again.


#8 Grizzly Man
Plot: This film is compiled of video footage shot by wild-life enthusiast Timothy Treadwell who, out of his love for Grizzly bears, decided to live among them for thirteen seasons.
Why It's A Must-See: Okay, I'll admit, I have this in here for a few contradictory reasons. First, it's a good hippie movie. If you love nature and wildlife, it's a good ride for you. Second, it's unintentionally funny. I mean, this guy starts to go nuts toward the end, and embedded in that granola-crunching, nature-loving, bear-cuddling, madness is pure comedy genius. He even created a popular meme and became the Chris Crocker for bears. Oh, and did I mention that he got eaten by the bears he was living with? Irony!


#7 Larry Flynt: The Right To Be Left Alone
Plot: This documentary follows the life of legendary smut magnate Larry Flynt, creator of Penthouse magazine.
Why It's A Must-See: As a girl, I shouldn't be saying "Oh, a documentary about a Porn King is thought-provoking and interesting!" But I am. This documentary follows Flynt's continuous battle for First Amendment rights and the quote-unquote "right to be left the hell alone." This film will give you a new look on freedom of press and just how far one American can take it.

Indie Sex: Censored, Teens, Taboo, and Extremes
Plot: This IFC-sponsored documentary, four-part mini-series follows the journey of sex on-screen in both independent and mainstream films. Filmmakers such as James Cameron Mitchell, John Waters, and Atom Eyogan give their insight on sex and the art of film.
Why It's A Must-See: Sex is always interesting, whether you want to admit it or not. The journey that some of these filmmakers have made with sex in movies is a long and arduous one-- all of done in the name of art. This film could possibly make you see sex in film a totally different way: as art. Filmmakers, artists and actors give their views on sex in cinema here at IFC.com. But ultimately it's up to the audience to decide-- sex: part of filmmaking or just exploitation?


#5 Taxi To The Dark Side
Plot: Take a journey to the dark side of America's military forces. See what really goes on behind prison camps closed doors. This riveting tale asks the question, "When are American soldiers crossing the line in interrogation?"
Why It's A Must-See: If you've ever wondered when scare tactics cross over into sheer sadism, this is the film for you. Taxi shows us an inside look on American-run POW camps like Guantanomo Bay, and shows us for the first time what really happened in the Abu Ghraib prison. If you've ever felt some kind of pang for the value of human life-- this is the film for you.


#4 The Drug Years
Plot: When drugs hit the US scene in the 1960's, American youth never looked back. This VH1 Rockumentary chronicles the invention, use, and popularity of LSD, marijuana, heroin, and every other All-American drug that ever got us high.
Why It's A Must-See: Drugs, sex, and rock-n-roll is a time-tested Grade-A good time guaranteed. This is no exception. This mini-series shows the halcyon days of innocence when all drugs were was "a little bit of puff and some LSD" as if they were the better times. In a moment of drug-justification, the filmmaker makes us long for the days of that Summer of Love innocence and enlightenment. It makes us wanna trade the blood-riddled meth and cocaine of today for the good-intentioned blotter acid of Then and that, my friends, is what makes this documentary so great: it makes the viewer long for a simpler drug world.

#3 At The Death House Door
Plot: This film delicately documents the lives of Pastor Carroll Pickett and Carlos De Luna, whose existences intertwine at the Walls prison unit in Hunstville Texas. De Luna, a man wrongly convicted and sentenced to death, confided in Pickett, the "death house" pastor who gave peace to men on death row in their last hours.
Why It's A Must-See: Whether you're for or against the death penalty, this film will definitely make you rethink the American justice system. De Luna was presumed, posthumously, that he was indeed innocent--meaning that the state of Texas had murdered an innocent man. This fact still haunts Pickett, a 15-year veteran of the Death House, and the message this film leaves will also haunt you.

#2 Year of the Yao
Plot: Twenty-one year-old Yao Ming transferred from China to the Houston Rockets in 2002, and the transition was not an easy one. Yao spoke next to no English, was younger than most of his teammates, and had never been to the US before. With the help of a young translator, Colin Pine, Yao manages to settle down in America and become one of the biggest basketball phenomenons of the decade.
Why It's A Must-See: This lighthearted documentary is a fun look into the life of basketball phenom Yao Ming. We never get to see much of the big guy (and by big, I mean 7 foot 6 inches big) outside of the courts, so seeing him as a normal person with his friends is family is a nice change. Basketball fans will love the chronicling of his early days in China, to his rocky start in Houston, to his dominance in the game today. Unlike most documentaries that focus on catastrophic, depressing, or terrible events, this is just your good old-fashioned, feel-good, success story!


#1 Born Into Brothels
Plot: This 2004, Academy Award-winning documentary tells the tale of Calcutta, India's red-light kids-- the sons and daughters of prostitutes. In an attempt to let these children escape from their grim reality, they are given cameras and told to take photographs of their surroundings. The raw talent these kids possessed helped to raise them up out of the brothels and into a brighter, better world.
Why It's A Must-See: In a word: inspiring. These children, who are born with nothing, take simple pleasures in photographing what they see in life around them. Through these photographs, they help change both our perceptions and their own. This film is bound to open your eyes to the poor conditions in third-world countries like India. You can see some of the children's works here.

Ten Cutest Bromances

bromance (n.)-- a non-sexual relationship between two unusually close males

Everyone loves a good bromance. Every guy has had one. These bromances are the ones that took us by the heartstrings and tugged males into a good man-cry.

#10 Saul Silver and Dale Denton

Film: Pineapple Express

Bromanticity: These guys were just plain cute together. I mean, really, who doesn't love a sweet pair of stoners? But you could tell that these guys truly loved each other: Dale saved Saul from a giant weed explosion, Saul sold Dave the best herb in the U.S., and the two stuck together in times of crisis involving Chinese drug lords.

#9 Butch and Sundance

Film: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Bromantic: Ah, the Old West. A time of rugged manliness, a time of sheriffs and outlaws, and a time of perfectly straight cowboy bromances. And at the pinnacle of this straight-cowboy love totem is the dynamic (and unbearably cute) duo of Butch and Sundance. These two were just inseparable the entire movie: they robbed together, loved the same girl, and even went out together. Classic.

#8 Turk and J.D.

TV Show: "Scrubs"

Bromantic: They wrote a song about guy love. What more can we say? Plus, interracial bromance is always cute. As J.D. would say, "I love you, Chocolate Bear."

#7 Seth and Evan

Film: Superbad

Bromantic: What's better than two horny nerds trying to get laid their last week together? Nothing! It's the American Dream! That's why we love these two: because Seth and Evan remind all of us of that guy couple that we went to school with. Remember that whole "I love you. *pokes his nose* Boop." scene? Yeah, that scene was the epitome of geek bromance.

#6 Dwight Shrute and Michael Scott

TV Shows: "The Office"

Bromantic: Where would Michael be without Dwight? Lost, I say. More lost than he is now at least. Which means he'd probably be dead. And where would Dwight be without Michael? Alone, without a friend in the world. Let's face it-- these two need each other. TV world wouldn't be the same without these two. It's like a world where Jim and Pam didn't get together. Ooh, just scary thinking about it.

#5 Michael Scott and Ryan Howard

TV Show: "The Office"

Bromantic: Okay, so I listed two "Office" bromances on here-- big deal! So this bromance might be a little one-sided-- so what! You have to admit that the love Michael exudes for Ryan is sweet (albeit, a little annoying.) Even when Ryan almost burned down the office (Ryan started the fire!), and then got caught for fraud, and all the other dicky stuff Ryan tends to do, Michael sticks with him thick and thin. *Sniffles* That's true bromance, folks.

#4 Ron Burgundy and Baxter

Film: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Bromantic: Contrary to popular belief, bromance does extend to the animal world as well. The love normally self-centered Ron Burgundy showed for his dog Baxter is just plain heartwarming. They have intelligent conversations, they wear matching outfits, and they're always there for each other-- dog truly is man's best friend!

#3 Jay and Silent Bob

Film: Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Clerks I and II.

Bromantic: The chemistry these two have is staggering: Jay's the mouth and Bob's the brains. These two do everything together: smoke weed, get girls (or at least try), and even save the world from destructive angels. Although they affectionately degrade each other occasionally, these two have a love for each other that other men only dream that they could have.

#2 Frodo and Sam

Film: Lord of the Rings

Bromantic: This was probably the original bromance. It took place long, long ago in a place called Middle Earth and it was awesome. All it took was hordes of evil armies, two hairy-footed little hobbits, and one little bastard of a gold ring to bring legions of nerdy guys together in common love for this bromance. Sure these two half-pints were the brunt of many a gay joke, and sure they were ridiculed for their less-than-heroic moments on the journey, but did that stop them from loving each other (in a totally non-homosexual way?) No, it didn't. And for that Frodo and Sam, we nerds around the world salute you.

#1 Cool Hand Luke and Dragline

Film: Cool Hand Luke

Bromantic: What guy wouldn't have a massive man-crush on Paul Newman? He's like the prettier version of Steve McQueen! But the lucky guy Cool Hand Luke chose for his bro was big ol' sweaty Dragline. Dragline's the best bromance buddy a guy can ask for: he protects him, he supports him in his biggest challenges, and he just plain loves the guy! He is always by the side of "his darlin' baby Luke." Luke, in turn, includes Dragline as his right-hand man in all his little schemes and plans.

Hee

No post. Just simple truth and hilarity.

How Pathetic Am I?

The answer: very. I realized this early this morning when I went to class. One of my friends Kara asked me if I was going out with her and a bunch of other people to a club called "The Buzz" (Yeah, I know, how appropriate is that name? It's like, right next door is the club called "Slightly Inebriated" and across the street is the ever-popular haunt "Shit-Faced") Begrudgingly, I said yes. I'll repeat: Begrudgingly. I said yes. BEGRUDGINGLY.

Holy ass. I am a nineteen year old college freshman, and I am already loathing the fact that my friends are making me go out to party. How much further down on the loserdom scale can I possibly slide? I mean honestly, I'm squeezed in there between that Numa-Numa guy and Jennifer Wilbanks. I'm the true definition of homebody.


These are my defenses for not going out:
A.) They go out on Thursdays, and that's when new episodes of "The Office" comes on.
B.) I have 9 o'clock classes. I may be a morning person, but not that much of a morning person. I'm not built to stay up til' three in the morning and then get up at the ass-crack of dawn to go learn Spanish.
C.) I can't dance. The only thing you can do at these places are drink and dance. I'm not legally allowed to do the first one and I can't do the latter. I'm screwed both ways.
D.) I'm not gonna know many people there. And it's kind of hard to make conversation with other people when they're either drunk or attached to the face of someone else.
E.) I'm BROKE. As usual. So what's the point of paying ten bucks to get into a place where all I'm gonna do is sit around and stare at drunk people grinding against other drunk people?

I'm not bashing clubs-- they're fun most of the time! I'm just saying that tonight, I'm not really in the mood. But alas...the fates frown upon me and are putting me in quite a pickle: either go and suffer through the night, or stay at home and piss off your friends.

So what to do? What to do? My suite-mate is already thinking I'm gonna flake out on her... Well just call me Corn-Flake, kiddo!

That's my rant for the day.