This is probably the most random list I've ever made. But I realize I have a penchant for loving boozy, self-righteous windbags. I love the rants they go on, I love the DUI's they get charged with, but most of all I love they epic amounts of crazy they harbor in those big heads of thiers.
#5 Joan Rivers
The Fabulous Windbag: This woman has been in show business since the 1970's, and she hasn't been able to blink since 1998! This botox-fueled, loud-mouthed, sequined-bedazzled loudmouth makes the red carpet a much more interesting place for everyone. With her skiving snipes at "much-more famous" actors (ex. "Marie Osmond is such a goodie-goodie that she doesn't even have nipples, she has happy faces.") she is one of those true windbags that has that "I don't give a damn what anyone thinks about me" attitude. Gotta love that.
#4 Adam West
The Batman Wind(Bat)bag: The man has managed to build his entire career around a character that he played for only two years in the 60's. That's enginuity. Just plain-old American hard work. Now he's doing amazing voice-over work for awesome shows like "Family Guy," "The Boondocks," "Johnny Bravo," and "The Fairly Oddparents." And we just can't get enough of him.
#3 Elizabeth Taylor
The Crazy Old Bat Windbag: She's old. She's got big hair. She's been married eight times. She used to be the biggest, most beautiful star on the planet. And she's awesomely nuts. Liz Taylor use to be a fine actress, playing in hits such as Cleopatra, Cat On a Hot Tin Roof, Giant, and Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? But like most great actors (see: Marlon Brando) Liz went crazy. But not just a little crazy, she went batshit crazy. Need examples? She and Michael Jackson were the Maid of Honor and Best Man at Liza Minelli and David Guest's wedding. She acts all confused and screechy-crazy on the red carpet (see: Howlin' Liz). I blame Michael Jackson and years of inhaling White Diamonds for her behaviour. But you know what? We still love our violet-eyed diva! Or at least, I do.
#2 William Shatner
The Trekkie Windbag: Three words: James. Tiberius. Kirk. Whether you're a Trekkie or not, you've somehow been affected by the awesoemeness that radiates off of William Shatner. He was the original captain of the Starship Enterprise, he's the Priceline Negotiator, and now he even has is own talk show called "Shatner's Raw Nerve." The man is...a...GOD! First of all, he has that cadence when he talks-- who else could pull that off? No one, I say! Second, who else could also pull off that tight lycra yellow captain's shirt in Star Trek? Nobody but Shatner! The man is amazing in too many ways to document here on this post. Just accept the fact: William Shatner is much more awesome than you. By the way, this has nothing to do with this post, but I found it disturbingly hilarious.
#1 Mel Gibson
The Jew-Hating Windbag: Who better to top this list than Mel "Sugartits" Gibson? He's an amazing actor, a fantastic director, and quite possibly the funniest, most offensive drunk alive. He's my favorite anti-Semitic guy in Hollywood. He's a very resilient guy. I mean, it takes some kind of mental strength to believe that the Holocaust was an elaborate hoax, and it takes balls to call a female cop "sugartits" when you're being arrested for DUI. BUt it's that kind of hard-headed awesomeness that makes him our favorite windbag ever. Any guy that can stick by what he said, no matter how hateful and mysoginistic it, is amazing. So, sorry Mel, the Jews are cool, I have to disagree with you on that one, but other than that we love you!
So do you also like these wonderful, alcohol-fueld windbags? Or do you have another favorite?
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